Sunday, 4 September 2016

A New Chapter...


Hello! how have you been? It's been a while since I last posted hasn't it? This post here is going to explain why that is as well as the future of my blog and its content.

So you may or may not know this but I finished my A-level exams back in June and on the 18th of August I received my results. I'm not going to lie I didn't get what I wanted. I know a lot of people will be curious as to what I got exactly so I may as well tell you. I achieved three C's in Maths, Business Studies and Music Technology at A2-Level. To people that know me that may be a surprise given that I was predicted much much higher grades, but to be honest I am proud with my results. Given that I had 49% attendance at college in my second year due to me being frequently ill and constantly having appointments for this that and the other, having to teach myself essentially A2 Maths (which is relatively impossible), and not being given extra time in exams when I should have been, I think I've done pretty well.

 When I say 'I didn't get what I wanted' I don't mean with my results, I mean with my University offer. My firm choice was the University of Sussex to study International Business, unfortunately the only thing they could offer me (because of my grades) was to do a foundation year and then if I passed that I could pursue my chosen degree. I knew that I was more than capable to begin a degree without a foundation course first and therefore I declined Sussex's offer and decided to go through clearing...

After about 3 breakdowns, multiple hours on the phone and a lot of tears from stress I managed to get offers to study other business related degrees with a few Universities. However there was one place that stood out to me and that was the University of Bournemouth. I accepted the offer to study Business Studies there and will be moving there in less than 2 weeks! After all the stress I had finally found a University that accepted me and could celebrate my results, but then came the next morning...

The next morning I found out that there was no university accommodation left and I would have to find a house and housemates to live with by myself - queue breakdown number 4 :D. It's a long, relatively boring, story about how I found a house and housemates to live with for my first year so I will just tell you now that I did manage to find 3 lovely girls to live with in the end (hey if you're reading this btw guys) and after an incredibly stressful but lucky day in bournemouth, running around all of the letting agencies with my now housemate, but old school friend as well, Daisy (like I said, llloonngg storyy), we found a beautiful student house.

I remember how devastated I was to find out that not only was I not going to my dream uni but I wasn't even going to be living in halls for my first year. However, now I have a completely changed my perspective and since visiting Bournemouth for the first time, after I had accepted my offer to study there for the next 3 years funnily enough, I absolutely love the place and genuinely believe not getting into Sussex or halls was a blessing in disguise. I'm so incredibly excited to live in my own shared house and call Bournemouth my home as of the 14th of September.

So yeah, that's a brief summary about the next chapter in my life and what i've been going through recently so you can probably understand why I haven't been posting since results day. Now for the next chapter in my blog...

I don't think the stress of starting University and results day is purely the blame as to why I haven't been as active on my blog recently. I also think it is combined with lack of inspiration. I've read a lot of bloggers recently comparing the industry similar to that of the modelling industry and I completely agree with them. I follow soooo many wonderfully talented bloggers that don't get the recognition they deserve for how much work they put in and it isn't because of them necessarily as to why they aren't as successful as they should be. To be 'successful' in the blogging industry and be recognised you have to have a certain look about yourself and be a certain kind of person, I fell into the trap of wanting to be that person pretty quickly I'd say instead of being my genuine self. I wouldn't go as far to say my posts reflect someone I'm not because it is me, it's just a more polished version of me that is able to type one thing and then be like 'wait if a brand sees that they might not want to contact me', erase it and type something else.

It has taken me a while to realise that I don't want to be recognised if it isn't for being really me, posting about what I truly want to post, saying what I really want to say. It isn't just because of 'success' that makes me afraid to post certain things, it's the fear of judgement as well. I want to be confident in my content and post stuff about mental health, relationships, break-ups, embarrassing stories, even the odd youtube video every now and again but I'm afraid to because it goes against 'the norm' and is more serious than your typical commercial blogger esc posts, not to mention it puts me in a more vulnerable position.

I've reminded myself though that when I started my blog over a year ago now, I did it because I enjoyed it and made me happy, it gave me something positive to do with my time, the moment I start blogging for the sake of it just to keep up a pattern or routine is when I start doing it for the wrong reasons, especially when I'm posting content I don't really feel that passionate about.

So you are going to see some changes in my content here and it may or may not be for you but at the end of the day I blog because it makes me happy and to make other people happy and help them as well, not to be 'successful'.

As aways, thank you so much for reading and understanding. If you have any questions or your own results day stories please comment down below!
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